I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
