I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
