Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
