..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
