Who wears a wallet chain?!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
