Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
