i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Terrible idea I love it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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