So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
