so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
