we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
