I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He? As in you personified your dick?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
