u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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