Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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