There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When are your genitals available?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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