no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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