Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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