I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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