I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
