fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
