Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize