she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The beer is more important than you right now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
