I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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