I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
