You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
