first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
