So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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