just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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