Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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