At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She bit a glass in half.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Randomize