i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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