the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
