I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
