Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
