she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
