She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
