Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
