I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
