Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
