I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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