THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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