I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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