she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
