i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
