it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
