Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
