You made me cry and you don't even care
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
