You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
