the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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