god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
