by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I need a beard to bite.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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