He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
