Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
