i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
