i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
