people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
