I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
