she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
