I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
