after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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