how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
