she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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