People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
