smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
