k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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