Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
