very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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