She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
