direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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