i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
